


Vicissitude

by xRabbitx



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-11
Updated: 2012-04-11
Packaged: 2017-11-03 10:31:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/380412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xRabbitx/pseuds/xRabbitx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't like Grell to get depressed, so he saved it for these moments of solitude where no one could see him. Most people didn't like when things changed too much, so Grell never showed this other, and much quieter, side of himself to anyone ( no one cared enough about him to listen anyway ), and the second he was out and about, his usual smile was back in place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vicissitude

~

Most people found Grell Sutcliff extremely annoying; he couldn't sit still for more than two minutes, he was always squealing excitedly over one thing or another, he dressed ridiculously, and was generally just too over-the-top flamboyant. Mostly, though, Grell merely shrugged, offered whoever was complaining over him a wink and purred, “It's just how I am, sweetheart.”

There were times, however, where even Grell would find himself too much. On those occasions, he was usually alone, sitting in his room and gazing out the window, sometimes wondering what it would be like to run away, to find some place completely different, a place where people didn't sneer, frown or looked exhausted the second he entered the room. It was on those rare occasions that he would usually realise a lot of sad things about himself: he didn't have any friends and no one really liked him. They always told him to shut up or go somewhere else. He supposed they didn't even realise that it actually hurt him a little bit every time. Most people probably thought that he was too stupid to get hurt.

It wasn't like Grell to get depressed, so he saved it for these moments of solitude where no one could see him. Most people didn't like when things changed too much, so Grell never showed this other, and much quieter, side of himself to anyone ( no one cared enough about him to listen anyway ), and the second he was out and about, his usual smile was back in place.

~

“Stupid William,” Grell sniffled as he pushed the door to his room open, rubbing the bruised cheek William had given him for, once again, botch up his mission and reap the wrong souls. It hadn't been on purpose of course, but William didn't care about that. William only cared about numbers and statistics. He _hated_ when things didn't go the way they were supposed to, and he especially hated when it was Grell's fault.

It hadn't always been like that, though, and Grell sighed as he shed his jacket, throwing on the bed before sitting down at his make up table to remove his usual getup. Once, many, many years ago, he and William had been the best of friends. They had been very young and had both just been accepted into the shinigami academy. Grell's hair had been shorter and William's face hadn't looked so serious. William had still found Grell annoying sometimes, but back then, he had just smiled and shaken his head at Grell, telling him that he was an idiot. Grell had grinned and pecked William's cheek and told him that it was okay; he still loved William. Then William had huffed and laughed a little, shaking his head again and telling Grell that then he was truly an idiot.

They had been practically inseparable for years, even after they had graduated, and Grell had become worse and worse at hiding just how much he actually loved William. Sure, Grell was the biggest flirt you would ever meet, and he made sure to let everyone know that, but in the end, when he came home at night, it was William's arms around him he dreamt about.  
Then one day, William was promoted, and he gradually became more and more serious and he never had time to hang out and goof about like they used to. In the end, he stopped speaking to Grell, except to tell him how big an embarrassment he was to the name of shinigami. Grell had made a feeble attempt to talk to William, ask him why he had abandoned their friendship just like that, and William had replied that now that he was Grell's boss there were things he just couldn't do any more, and besides, Grell was immature, irritating and a very poor excuse for a shinigami. Grell didn't seem to care much about William's reputation with the way he was acting out all the time and embarrassing William. And by the way, the only reason William hadn't demoted Grell yet was that they had once been friends, and Grell would do well in remembering that, William had said.

Grell would have preferred to have knife plunged into his chest and twisted twice than to have heard that, and he hadn't mentioned his and William's former friendship ever again.

With another deep sigh, Grell leaned back in his chair and gazed at the face staring back at him from the mirror. It didn't look anything like it usually did: the long lashes had been removed and put away in a small box, the golden eyes didn't look very golden, and the long, red hair, normally flowing out to frame the face, had been tied back, and the wide smile had been exchanged for a rather gloomy pout. The face looked old and tired, Grell thought, and turned away with a frown to get to his feet and undress.

A few minutes later, when he crawled naked under the blanket and rolled onto his back, he wondered if perhaps William had been right back then. Maybe he was acting too immaturely, and maybe it was time to get serious like William had, and care about numbers and getting his job done rather than having fun and chasing after beautiful men. 

Beautiful men... 

William was still a very beautiful man, and Grell would have been lying if he had said that his heart didn't skip a beat every time William looked him straight in the eyes, even if all Grell saw there was contempt or annoyance. Perhaps if Grell really changed the way he was behaving and dressing, William would like him again? Perhaps they could become friends again, or maybe even more?

Grell rolled over on his side and closed his eyes. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

~

“Grell Sutcliff, you're late again,” William droned from behind his desk the following morning without looking up from his papers. “That's the third time this week.”

“I apologise, Mr. Spears,” Grell replied quietly as he closed the door behind him. “Please forgive me.”

This made William look up, and his eyebrows rose in obvious surprise when his gaze met Grell's. This morning, instead of his usual red and flamboyant outfit, Grell had dressed in a plain grey suit complete with grey gloves and a black tie. He had combed his hair back and tied it in a long, sleek pony tail, and he had changed his red-framed glasses to a pair of black ones. He'd had to search his entire wardrobe before finding clothes like these, and now, while still trying to keep his face completely neutral, he was eager to see William's reaction to the radical change of style.

For a moment, it looked like William was trying to decide whether or not to comment on Grell's clothes. Then he cleared his throat a little and said, “Don't let it happen again or I will report you.”

“I won't, Mr. Spears,” Grell promised, shortly bowing his head in apology. “You have my word.”

“Very well,” William said and held out a piece of paper towards Grell. “Here's today's list. Get to work.”

“Yes, Mr. Spears,” Grell accepted the list and bowed again, “thank you.” 

Then he left the office.

Later that evening, Grell returned to William's office. He had carried out his orders with perfection down to the tiniest detail, and while it hadn't been as much fun as it usually was, Grell had to admit that he was actually a little proud of himself. It seemed that he indeed was capable of doing something right if he just worked hard at it and didn't let himself get distracted. 

William seemed pleased too because once he had gone over the list, the corners of his mouth twitches as if he was about to smile, and he looked up at Grell as he put the list away to be filed later, and said, “Well done. You may take the rest of the evening off.”

Grell nodded and bowed his head a little. “Thank you, Mr. Spears.” But when Grell looked up again, he found a glimmer of disappointment in William's eyes, and he left the office, puzzled. 

By the time he reached his room, he had concluded that perhaps he hadn't worked hard enough, and as he showered, he decided to work twice as hard the following day.

~

During the next couple of weeks, Grell worked harder than he ever had done in his entire life as a shinigami, but every time he reported yet another perfectly accomplished mission to William, the latter seemed disappointed. Sure, William praised him with words, but the praise never reached his eyes which kept their disappointed look.

A few times, Grell almost gave up-- it seemed William really was impossible to please completely-- but every time, he managed to talk himself out of quitting. William probably just needed a bit more time to adjust to this new and efficient Grell, he told himself. Just work harder. 

Then one evening something finally happened. Grell had just come out of the shower and had been sitting in front of the mirror, combing through his long hair, when someone knocked on his door.

Puzzled, Grell got to his feet and wrapped a towel around his hips. It was late, and no one had ever come to visit him in his room, except William when he had come to chastise him for some slip-up. But Grell hadn't been making any mistakes for almost a month and a half now, and Grell's puzzlement grew when he opened the door and saw William standing there.

“Wi-- Mr. Spears?” he said surprised, then blushed as he realised that he was practically naked. “What are you doing here?”

“Joke's over,” William muttered as he stepped forward and pushed the door wide open, forcing Grell to take a step back into the room. “Joke's over, Grell.”

“What joke?” Grell asked confused and swallowed slightly when the back of his knees encountered the edge of his bed. “I don't underst--”

“I said, joke's over,” William interrupted, grabbing Grell's shoulders and leaning a little closer so Grell could smell the alcohol on his breath. “You can stop now.”

“S-stop what?” Grell half-whimpered, trying to ignore what the fact that he was all but naked and alone with William did to his body. “Mr. Spears, you're drunk. You should--”

“Shut up,” William breathed and grabbed Grell's chin between his thumb and forefinger, staring down at Grell over the rim of his glasses. “I hate when you call me that. Don't ever call me that again.”

“Bu-but Mr. Spe--”

William hissed and pushed Grell down hard on the bed so that it creaked and skit a a couple of inches across the wooden floor. 

“I said, don't ever call me that again,” William growled as he pushed Grell over to lie on his belly, pressing a hand down between Grell's shoulder blades so he couldn't move away.

“I'm sorry, William,” Grell whimpered, squirming in the tangle of sheets and his own long hair. He had no idea what was going on except that William was drunk-- something he hadn't been since their senior year at the shinigami academy-- and that his cock was harder than it had ever been before. The towel was dangerously close to slipping off his hips, and Grell was quietly thankful that he was on his belly. That way, William wouldn't see his erection if the towel did fall off. 

“You did it to tease me, didn't you?” William asked in a whisper, crawling onto the bed and moving to straddle the back of Grell's thighs. “Thought you could drive me crazy with that little act of yours, didn't you?”

“N-no,” Grell whined, trying to push himself up so he could look over his shoulder at William, but the hand between his shoulder blades still held him down. “I did it so you would-- so you would like me again.”

William didn't respond, but suddenly the hand on Grell's back was gone, and a second later, the door to his room slammed as William left. 

“William?” Grell pushed himself up just in time to see the door close, and for one wild moment, he was about to chase after William. Then he remembered that he was naked, hard and that chasing after William when he was angry had never been a good idea, ever.

“Shit,” Grell muttered, getting to his feet and kicking angrily at the bedpost which resulted in nothing other than him nearly breaking his pinkie toe. Cursing and clutching his toe, he threw himself on the bed again and sighed. Now he was alone, hard, sore, and worst of all: he had failed again. His brilliant plan to make William like him had proven to only make matters worse, and Grell rubbed his palm over his eyes with a deep sigh. This was no use.

~

When Grell the next morning showed up at the door to William's office, he had discarded the grey suit and had gone back to red. He figured that if William hated him no matter what, he might as well wear something he felt comfortable in. Even if his clothes were back to normal, though, Grell didn't feel anything like his cheery, old self, and there were no smiles or silly, little dance moves when he entered William's office.

“You're late,” William commented in monotone, looking up from his papers. “Close the door behind you.”

Grell did as he was told and leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest while waiting for the mandatory scolding for being late. 

William didn't seem to be in a hurry, however, and he lowered his gaze to his paperwork and continued reading as if Grell wasn't even in the room.

After a couple of minutes, Grell clicked his tongue impatiently and pushed away from the wall. If this was William's way of punishing him for last night, he would much rather get a knock over the head and be done with it. Grell didn't feel like being there at all and was anxious to get away so he could be miserable by himself.

“Aren't you going to hit me?” he asked, stepping closer to William's desk. “Or at least yell at me?”

William looked up, corrected his glasses, then got to his feet and walked around the desk. “No. I'm not going hit you or yell at you.”

“Then why are you keeping me here?” Grell asked, putting his hands on his hips with a defiant expression on his face. He was tired of waiting.

“I am going to apologise to you,” William droned as if he was simply informing Grell about his next assignment. 

“You're-- what?” Grell was shocked. In all the time William had been his boss, Grell couldn't remember a single occasion where William had apologised to him for anything, and he stared blankly at William for a moment while trying to work out if this was a dream or not.

“I said, I'm going to apologise to you,” William repeated, now looking a little uncomfortable. “I was out of line last night, and for that I'm sorry.”

“Eh?” 

Grell didn't understand anything and must have looked like one big question mark, because William huffed and frowned impatiently at him, hissing, “I said, I'm sorry for last night. Also...”

“Hm?” Grell could hardly believe what he was hearing, and apparently there was more where it came from.

“I-- I realise that I haven't exactly been--” this was the very first time in his years of knowing William that Grell had ever seen him struggle with the words, “-- the best friend one could imagine. I let myself get carried away with dreams of promotion and influence, and allowed it to ruin what I had with you. I'm sorry for that too. I hope you will forgive me some day.”

Grell would have been less surprised if William had turned into a skunk and announced that he was moving to Switzerland to pursue a career as a ballet dancer. He couldn't say anything, but simply stared open-mouthed at William with wide eyes behind his red-rimmed spectacles. 

After a moment, William narrowed his eyes and turned away to go sit behind his desk again.

“That would be all,” he said, handing Grell his assignment for the day. “Here's the list. Now go away.”

~

Grell wasn't sure how he managed to get out of William's office, or even how he managed to actually, somewhat, complete his task for the day, but at one point, he found himself sitting in his room later that evening, staring into the wall.

It was one thing that William had apologised to him, but that William actually had admitted that he had done something wrong, and apologised for that too... Grell could hardly believe it had happened. 

He pushed to his feet and started pacing his room, wondering what to do now. On one hand, William had apologised for being a bastard, but he hadn't expressed any desire to rekindle their lost friendship in any way.

In the end, though, Grell decided that all William needed was a little persuasion and encouragement.

~

An hour later, Grell burst through the door to William's office, a flutter of red clothes and red hair flowing out behind him.

“William~!” he sing-songed as he all but danced into the office, making sure to push the door closed behind him. “I finished the job.”

“How many times have I told you to knock before you enter?” William sighed from behind his desk, looking irritated and oddly relieved at the same time.

“Why?” Grell purred and fluttered over to sit on the edge of William's desk. “Were you doing something naughty?”

“If you call sorting out your mess naughty, then yes,” William huffed. “You reaped the wrong souls again.”

“Oh.” Grell blushed a little, but he kept grinning, and leaned closer. “Am I going to be punished?”

William made a face and got up from his chair, walking around the desk while adjusting his gloves. “Aren't you always?”

Before Grell could open his mouth to reply, William seized him by the collar and yanked him to his feet. For a moment, during which he gazed deep into William's eyes, Grell thought William was going to hit him, but then William's expression changed. He narrowed his eyes a little and muttered, “I know I've been--”

William didn't get to finish, though, because Grell pressed his fingers to his lips, shaking his head slightly.

“It's okay,” Grell hummed, licking his lips. “Just kiss me, Will.”

Grell wasn't sure if William had ever taken orders from him before, but even if he hadn't, he was certainly doing it now. He leaned closer and caught Grell's lips in a kiss that sent shivers down Grell's spine and made his eyes flutter closed.

No one had ever kissed Grell like this before. He had always been kissed messily, hungrily, angrily, but never softly, never gently. Late at night, Grell had often fantasised about William's kisses, but these felt nothing like the ones he had been dreaming about. They felt so much better, and Grell all but melted in William's arms as he returned the kiss with everything he had.

Somehow, they ended up on William's desk, Grell on his back with his arms and legs wrapped tightly around William who was leaning over him. Both of them were kissing each other as if their lives depended on it, and it didn't take long before Grell was starting to feel light-headed. 

Then, after what felt both like an eternity and a blink of an eye, William broke the kiss, panting softly as he whispered, “No. I don't-- don't want to do this here.”

Grell, who had been just about to have a panic attack, drew a relieved sigh and nodded slowly. “Where then?”

“Follow me,” William said, pulling away and straightening his clothes. When you looked directly at the front of his trousers, it was obvious that the kissing had affected him just as much as it had Grell, and Grell felt every inch of his body heat up as he slid down from the desk.

William led him out of the office and down the corridor. Grell made sure to keep a few paces behind him so that it looked like nothing out of the ordinary was going on between them, though if you took an extra look at Grell's flushed face, it was pretty obvious that something was going on. 

They were lucky, however, and didn't encounter anyone as they walked. Grell didn't know where William was taking him, but he thought he could tell from the back of William's head that he was wearing one of those not-quite-there smiles.

It didn't take long before Grell realised where William was leading him, and as he stepped through the door to William's quarters, he couldn't help but feel a little honoured. William had never taken him here before, and Grell spent a few minutes looking around while William locked the door behind him.

Everything in the room, which was quite bigger than Grell's, was as neat and proper as William himself, but not without a tiny air of the person William once had been.

“You still read these?” Grell asked delightedly as he crouched down next to a tall bookcase and studied the row of books on the lowest shelf. They were all classic romance novels and poetry, and Grell ran his finger along the back of _Romeo & Juliet_ before looking up at William with a smile.

“Don't be ridiculous. Of course I don't read them,” William huffed, and Grell was certain that he spotted a small blush on William's cheeks as he added, “that often.”

Grell giggled and pushed to his feet, and William suddenly looked a little awkward, something Grell was pretty sure he had never seen William look before.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asked, waving a hand at a glass cabinet with several different bottles inside it.

“No,” Grell hummed, stepping closer and causing William to look outright nervous. “I'd rather want you.”

Before William could say or do anything, Grell kissed him, and only a few minutes later, William was walking Grell backwards out of the sitting room and down a small hallway to the bedroom. 

This time, Grell didn't stop to examine the room, but turned so he could push William gently down to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“Will should let me spoil him a bit,” he purred as he slowly knelt down between William's knees, pushing them apart, “and show him a real nice time.”

A soft gasp left William when Grell leaned in and pressed his lips to the bulge between William's legs. The fabric was warm and damp, and Grell could feel the hard shaft of William's cock twitch as he touched it. Then he pulled back a little to open William's belt and trousers, tugging them down just enough to free his erection.

It was every bit as gorgeous as Grell had always imagined, though William wasn't completely shaved like Grell had thought. Instead, the dark pubes were neatly trimmed, all exactly the same length of an inch or so, and Grell ran his fingers through them while leaning in to brush his lips against the hot skin of the flushed head. This earned him another gasp from William, and a moment later, Grell felt a hand taking a hold of his hair, tugging slightly at it. The feeling sent shivers down his spine, and with a soft, needy moan, Grell opened his mouth to suck William's cock inside. 

“Ah'Grell,” it came in a breathless moan from above him, and Grell sucked even harder until his lips were firmly closed around the base of William's prick. He could feel how it twitched inside his mouth and throat, and slowly pulled back while making sure his pointy teeth weren't accidentally scratching the sensitive skin.

“Dear, sweet mother of-- of _everything_ ,” William panted, failing miserably in masking both his arousal and amazement. “Where on earth did you learn to do that?”

“You don't want to know,” Grell purred and licked his lips before nuzzling them against the head of William's cock, sucking off the precome. “Just know I learnt it with you in mind.”

When he opened his mouth and made to lean closer, Grell felt the fingers in his hair tighten to hold him back. With a puzzled expression on his face, he looked up at William who was gazing down at him through lowered lashes. 

“Don't,” William breathed, then looked away in what looked suspiciously like embarrassment. “I might not last much longer if you do. I-- I've never done anything like this before.”

Grell couldn't decide which was cuter: William's embarrassment or the fact that he was a virgin, but for once, he kept his mouth shut so he wouldn't ruin the moment, and merely nodded and pushed to his feet to get undressed. 

He had dreamt of this moment for a very long time, but in his fantasies, William had always been the one in control, the one doing the seducing and not the other way around. Not that Grell was complaining in any way, and he slowly unbuttoned his vest while smirking slightly at William who was watching him from the bed. 

Even if Grell would never admit as much, there were quite a few things he didn't like about himself, but his body had never been one of them. Grell knew he had a gorgeous body, and he made sure to show off as many of its assets to William-- the delicate neck and collarbone, the long slender legs, the perfectly rounded arse, and the gentle curve of his hips-- as he undressed. He let his clothes drop to the floor, then crawled onto the bed on all fours before lying down on his back, twisting a little in the sheets while winking at William who looked like he was ready to explode any second.

William's undressing session was much faster and less elegant than Grell's, though his clothes didn't end up in a pile on the floor, but in a neat stack on a nearby chair. Then he crawled onto the bed and settled next to Grell, looking more like a scared teenager than a grown man, and Grell thought he looked so sweet that he couldn't do anything but kiss William's lips.

The kiss seemed to make William relax a little because a few moments later, while they were still kissing, Grell felt a hand slide down his side to his hip where it paused for a while before sliding lower, down Grell's thigh. This sent a series of small shivers up Grell's spine, and he squirmed a little in the sheets while curling an arm around William's neck to deepen the kiss.

A soft sound from the back of William's throat grazed Grell's lips, and before he could do anything else, William had shifted to settle between his legs, their bodies pressed flush against each other. The sudden pressure and warm weight against his swollen cock made Grell mewl into the kiss as his prick jerked between their bellies, and apparently, William was sharing this feeling because it didn't take long before the slow and soft kisses turned hungry and somewhat urgent.

William's hips started moving, and the feel of the hard length of William's cock rubbing against his own had Grell moaning and moving with him. At first, the rhythm was clumsy and erratic, but then their bodies seemed to sync up and they moved together as one, both of them panting softly against each other's lips.

Grell was so engulfed in the blur of his arousal that he was no longer sure which hands belonged to him and which were William's. Not that it really mattered, though, because this was William, the very same William Grell had thought would always hate him, and Grell a hot, bubbly feeling in his belly that made him mewl and curl his arms tightly around William's shoulders.

Soon after, William's body tensed and he let out a shuddering moan before Grell felt his cock jerk between their bodies. The feel of hot, sticky spurts smearing on his belly and cock sent Grell tumbling over the edge, and he came with a whimper into William's hair.

~

“Don't ever do that again.”

“Do what? This?”

“Ah-- no, not that. I meant, don't ever put on that grey suit again.”

“I thought you'd like it.”

“I do like it, but not on you. Grey doesn't suit you very well.”

“Oh? And what does?”

“Red.”

Grell smiled and rolled onto his belly, propping himself up on his elbows so he could look at William who was now lying on his back. With a small click of his tongue, Grell twirled a lock of William's hair around his finger. William cracked an eye open and looked back at him.

“What's that smile for?”

“Oh, nothing,” Grell replied, trying to look innocent-- something he had never been very good at.

“Out with it,” William demanded.

“I just never thought Will would look so adorable when he's coming,” Grell purred as he shifted closer and pressed his lips to William's cheek.

William huffed and shook his head. “You're an idiot.”

~

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own none of this.


End file.
